My son started nursery this week.
He cried.
I cried.
Not because I am worried about leaving him; I’ve left him before. Not because I am worried he won’t enjoy it; I know he’ll love it.
But because I am worried he will die.
I know that sounds extreme but it is the reality of raising a child with severe allergies. The reality of knowing an everyday food item could kill them.
Now, of course, I have taken every precaution to make sure this doesn’t happen. I have met with the nursery staff, put procedures in place and cemented a care plan. I would never leave him if I wasn’t confident he was as safe as possible.
Proud of his new bag and haircut, ready for nursery.
He is only 2 and a half so I could wait. But I know he is ready and I know he needs that extra stimulation. My husband and I are very keen that J gets to lead a normal life and have the same opportunities and experiences as other children.
But the problem is he is not exactly like other children.
He looks the same, he acts the same, it doesn’t seem like there anything wrong with him. And there isn’t. Until he comes into contact with one of his allergens.
This can be a difficult concept for other people to accept. When I had the meeting with the nursery managers to discuss J’s needs, one of them initially suggested it would be OK to leave milk on the side, as long as there was a big red line that J knew he wasn’t allowed to cross!!
I had to explain that this was the equivalent of telling other parents there would be a bowl of rat poison in the room – but don’t worry we’ve told your 2 year old not to touch it!
Luckily, once they understood the severity of the situation – and after a bit of prodding about discrimination and inclusion – they have been great at adapting for J and have taken every step I have asked, and more, to protect him.
I am excited to watch him grow and learn at nursery and feel happy I have made the right choice.
But I will still be sitting by the phone, crossing my fingers that he comes home safely.
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Both of you are very brave! Hope he enjoys it in the long run and makes good friends 🙂 x
Thanks Becky, I think he will flourish.
I’m sure your son will love nursery. My 2 y.o. spent a lot of time with his older cousins this summer and I think this accelerated him to nursery ready. He seems to be a little bores without their company and stimulation.
Little F doesn’t have allergies like your son, but he has a syndrome which makes him hold his breath until he goes purple and limp. It’s not a part of tantrum. He’s done it from birth This is my fear. If I send him to nursery will the staff be able to deal with it? Will they notice? He is silent when this happens.
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Thanks, it’s so hard balancing their needs isn’t it. I know he’ll love nursery but there’s always that worry of will someone else notice when he’s in distress. I hope your little boy can enjoy it too and you can get the care you need for him.
That’s really tough for you all Emma. Allergies are so scary with little ones, but it sounds as though you have done a great job in getting the nursery to understand the risks. Let’s hope they stay on the ball.
But you are right to send your little one…. It’s a real world and sometimes you have to balance risk with all the benefits and positives he will gain.
Good luck and fingers (and toes) crossed
Thanks Kate, it’s all a balancing act and trying not to let my fear of the situation restrict him. And yes, fingers crossed, it will all be fine!
Oh hunny I remember that day very well when I took B to nursery where someone else would feed him for the first time his food that could potential harm him and a place where other children could touch or eat something for breakfast that could harm him. I was a mess but looking back as I long as we are prepared and the nursery are well informed and prepared we have to let them spread their wings and fly and B was there for four years and now in school where I had to start the potential issues all over again but they grow and learn so much with other kids and it’s a great place for them. It will always be at the back of our minds because our child are the little bit different and no one can see that. Good luck hunny he will do amazing. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
Thanks Jenny, it’s nice to hear from other parents who understand and have been there before x