As I lay on the delivery table staring adoringly at baby A ,I turned to my husband and asked, with tears in my eyes: ‘Do you think they do vasectomies right now?’
I was certain in that very moment that I did not want any more children and I am just as sure, 6 months later, that I am done having babies.
It has not been an easy journey. It took us two years of infertility, tests and operations to conceive J. I then had a difficult birth, a severe haemorrhage and needed two blood transfusions. The following year I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks and ended up in hospital. Finally, I topped it off with a traumatic birth with baby A as she became stuck with shoulder dystocia.
I do not want to push our luck. I say luck because despite the difficulties, we have ended up with two beautiful babies. And I would hate to relive any of those experiences striving for more. But, beyond the physical process, there are other reasons I know we are stopping at two.
It’s hard work
I love being a Mum, but wow it’s hard work! If there is one word I would use to sum up parenting, it’s relentless. Once you have two children there is no break as at least one of them always needs you. Throw more children into the mix and I have no idea how people survive!
When people ask my husband if we will have more children he says ‘we don’t have any more bedrooms’! Yes, of course we could move, or they could share, but there are practical considerations. Houses, cars, holidays, all change when you have more children and I only have two hands to hold.
Good parenting is not about money but I do want to be able to afford for my children to do activities, go on trips and have fun holidays. These things aren’t cheap and I would hate for our lives to be limited. Plus, I want the time to be able to devote to both their individual needs and interests.
Two is my magic number
Most importantly, I only want two children because that is what feels right for me. There is no part of me that yearns for more, no part of me that wonders ‘what if I change my mind’. Since baby A has come along I feel like we finally have our little family and it’s perfect for us.
I feel, happy, content and complete.
How many children would you like? What has swayed your decision?